the matter i shud never be so into

nothing much have been with me these few days.i've counting days to got back into usm.have to, no excuses.lalalala...and i am enduring all the parts that i shud be playing this whole holidays.lol.mcm pelakon je.but, yes.it seems i have to be so much into the mode of 'budak baik giler2 yg terkurung dlm rumah' and doing nothing other than house chores.i said, going back home isn't the sweetest thing in my life.the only thing that keeps me going back, is that i have the responsibilities to be done.and i still, needs my parents to live on.to continue living my life.yeah, i'm the one who'll never had the ability to speaks louder to the public.never really crossed myself that i am going to have registerd for debate team...never had the fear lah, seeking for publicity is really not me.well, it's not a real publicity, speaking of being part of dream teams, being part of hope given by many people, is really not me.i am me, who'll speaks only from the innerside of me.nobody will listen to my thoughts, and nobody had given the appropriate way to show their appreciation.so, is this the matter i shud never so into?because i sometimes, want to be listened.by somebody.actually, i cannot stand seeing people with the capability to speaks out their mind.louder.ohhh, how i wish i was born with a talent.but sometimes, i am thinking, i was born with my way of living, so i shud just shut my mouth and live my life well.and the rest, is history!!!

p/s:currently, undone.sort of.